Motherhood Is Not a Solo Act: Why Maternal Mental Health Needs a Village
What if the real reason you feel overwhelmed as a mother isn’t because you’re doing it wrong — but because you’re doing it as a solo act?
We tell new mums to "ask for help" while designing a world where help is hard to come by. We expect women to raise children with invisible villages that no longer exist — and then wonder why so many feel isolated, anxious, or not like themselves.
The truth is, most of us weren’t meant to mother in silence.
In many parts of the world, new parents are surrounded by elders, neighbours, friends — not just in celebration, but in the daily. Someone to hold the baby so you can shower. Someone to make you a meal, or simply ask how you really are — and stay long enough to hear the answer.
But the modern shape of motherhood, especially in the West, has become something else entirely: isolated, individualised, and weighed down with unrealistic expectations. You’re meant to bounce back, keep it together, and somehow find time to “enjoy every moment.”
And when you can’t? It feels like a personal failing — not a systemic one.
This isn’t just a poetic longing for the “village” of old — it’s backed by science. Research shows that poor social support is one of the strongest predictors of postpartum depression and anxiety. And when we do have support — emotional, practical, or peer-based — we’re more resilient, less likely to burn out, and more likely to feel connected to ourselves as well as our child.
We need to talk more openly about the real emotional cost of isolated motherhood, and build alternatives that honour the full spectrum of maternal experience.
Motherhood is not a solo act — it was never meant to be.
You don’t need to carry the emotional load alone. Whether you’re finding your way after birth, deep in the shifts of matrescence, or simply exhausted from holding it all — you deserve space, reflection, and support.
It might look like listening to the Not Calm Mums series on the Calm app while you rock the baby to sleep. It could be a quiet walk with a friend who asks how you are. A supportive conversation with a therapist or accredited coach who doesn’t judge.
A visit to the World Maternal Mental Health Day website to see what help is available in your country. Joining a WhatsApp group of mums who are awake at 3am too. Or a future moment — like our Everyday Retreat or Summer Wellcation — to reconnect with yourself and others.
Because your needs matter too. And you deserve support that feels real, accessible, and kind.
We believe your wellbeing is worth investing in. Not just for your children, but for you.
Other Support That Might Help
Support doesn’t have to be loud or complicated. Sometimes it’s a quiet reminder that you’re not alone. Here are a few places and resources that offer care, connection, and calm — whether you're a new mum, deep in the school years, or simply someone carrying a lot:
Not Calm Mums – Calm App: Real talk and realistic moments from the Calm team — designed just for mothers who feel, well, not calm.
Motherkind Podcast: Honest conversations on motherhood, mental health, and finding a deeper sense of self.
World Maternal Mental Health Day: Learn more about the global movement, find local initiatives, and access maternal mental health support by region.
Postpartum Support International: A hub for international help — including support groups, helplines, and professional referrals.
Pandas Foundation: Offers a free helpline, support groups, and resources designed to meet parents exactly where they are.
The Motherhood Group: An award-winning platform centering Black mothers' experiences of matrescence, mental health, and systemic barriers.
Happy Mum, Happy Baby: Giovanna Fletcher’s podcast and platform is packed with non-judgemental, emotionally honest interviews about parenting, identity, and mental health.
Mothers Who Make: A peer support network for mothers who are artists, creatives, or makers.
Local library baby-and-me groups / playgroups: Sometimes support is as simple as showing up for rhyme time and chatting to another parent.
Let’s Stay Connected
At If Lost Start Here, we don’t believe you should have to navigate this alone. Whether you’re looking for everyday wellbeing guidance, 1:1 support, or group experiences like our Summer Wellcation, we’re here to walk alongside you.
Join our mailing list to hear about ways we can support you — coaching sessions, courses, and gentle check-ins for your emotional wellbeing.
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