Finding Myself Lost
Let me tell you a story.
There’s a very personal “why” for me in co-founding with Amanda If Lost, Start Here: While working at some of the most renowned spaces for contemporary art in the world, my mum’s mind began to slip away, slowly at first, then completely. She struggles now to manage everyday tasks and has a diagnosis somewhere around Dissociative Identity Disorder, the parts of herself fragmented, doctors still confused about how to treat her.
I have seen myself in my mum’s situation, enough to shift my life’s focus. I have struggled with panic attacks, general anxiety disorder, and depression, which in London meant not being able to get on the tube some days, and in San Francisco not being able to cross the Golden Gate Bridge. I’ve been to therapists and energy healers, attended workshops, and engaged in thought work, becoming an active seeker of strategies that work for me, both in the hope of managing my own mind and preventing the same slide as my mum’s. I think part of me believed I was helping her too - if I could just find the right thing, I could save her (and yes, I’ve had years of learning on that one).
That question of how we function as people, put front and center in my life, meant that the pristine environment of conceptually oriented art exhibitions in which I worked didn’t connect with my life anymore. So I worked on swapping gallery walls for something more intimate, two chairs and slightly worse decor.
A year at CCPE completing a foundational course in Counseling & Psychotherapy taught me many things:: that ideas can shape our understanding of who people are and why they do what they do, that Carl Rogers was as cool as Foucault, that I shouldn’t try to fix my role-playing clients (more rescuing).
But most importantly for this project, I also learned that it wasn’t about just the role for me, the job of a therapist, it was about the room, the therapist’s office, the safe container. That interest would lead to seeking out the very spaces that we curate in our guide.
If Lost, Start Here began to percolate when I realized that people were starting to build brick-and-mortar places and starting initiatives that went beyond therapy (though there are now some great contemporary reframes on that) around things like community and emotional intelligence, anxiety and depression, and even the end of relationships and the end of life. They were starting to make places that hold our mental well-being in ways that the museums that I had worked in held contemporary art and the way that a therapist could hold a room.
I also realized that there was nowhere to go to find all those different things. There were, and are, incredible platforms for great interior design, or travel off the beaten path, or well-being trends, but there is nowhere to think about all the different places in the world that are now being kind to our minds and making for better lives. I realised that we needed a guide to this new sector, one that combines well-being with culture, and includes curiosity, travel, lifestyle, place-making and socially engaged art, independent cafes, and mom-and-pop stores — all approaches directed at making our lives better, and easier, and more thoughtful.
If Lost, Start Here brings together the open inquiry I learned in my years in curatorial practice – creating narratives out of disparate subjects and working across different fields of interest — and the search for spaces that act therapeutically and offer different possibilities in which to contain and explore our lives. This project is founded on the belief that the spaces that we make in the world for ourselves matter in who we are and who we are able to become.
My hope for If Lost, Start Here is that it becomes the platform for finding the therapeutic, bringing together the best places that support us as actual people in our worlds. Here we bring together that practical search for something else, for whatever it is that fills the gap in all our lives, for the thing that we need most and are still seeking. As we build this guide, hopefully you’ll find more of what your looking for to help you navigate your days.
How you can help
Help us create a guide to all the places that can help our mental, emotional and physical well-being (they are all interconnected) and you’ll be helping others find more of what they need in their lives as well.
