Sidewalk Talk
Seek this out if: you want to refine your listening skills or just feel listened to.
What is it: A community-listening project, Sidewalk Talk offers a place of belonging within everyday surroundings. Just pull up a chair for the chance to be heard or volunteer to be the one listening. Connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It can happen right here in the streets around us by people who want to be there for us.
What you need to know: When San Francisco-based psychotherapist Traci Ruble noticed a surge in gun violence in her neighborhood, as well as increasing disengagement from each other due to tech and politics, she wondered whether she could place her therapist’s chair on the sidewalk and just listen. Curious about what was happening to society, Traci invited 28 psychotherapists to set up “listening chairs’ around the city, giving people an opportunity to just talk, to share their stories, to feel heard, and to find a connection. That was in 2015. Sidewalk Talk has since grown into a global movement and is now a non-profit operating in over 50 cities and in 15 countries, with over 8000 volunteers.
What they offer online and off: Sidewalk Talk is driven by its volunteers, 50% of whom have a background in therapy, though that’s not essential. Find out how to be trained as a listener or how to start your own chapter. Traci also hosts a podcast, Sidewalk Talk with invited guests discussing the breadth of issues creating loneliness and impacting our emotional wellbeing today.
New for 2021: The consequences of the pandemic – the stay-at-home orders, the focus on home at the expense of everything else, the pressures piling on – have strained some of our relationships like never before. Traci is also now offering a 12-week couples listening skills community, which is science-based, three-year tested, and heart-centered.
Why we think it’s special: In a moment when face-to-face contact has us feeling like we’re breaking rules or under threat, we’re looking forward to the time when that in-person piece is restored in our worlds. Sidewalk Talk recognizes the power of connection, how human it is just being together and how important it is just to feel heard. The organization also offers a much-needed counterpoint to the narrative that we need to do everything alone, including wellness, that being with each other, helping each other through, offers ways forward that going more and more inwards doesn’t. We need more kindness, more support, more togetherness; Sidewalk Talk steps into the “empathy deserts” we’re now living in and creates space for belonging and connection.
In their own words. “The world loves to talk - but words aren't enough. Listening helps people open up, share more, and reconnect in an increasingly lonely world. At Sidewalk Talk, our mission is to create communities of listeners who return to the same public spaces to practice heart-centered listening all over the world.”
More of a reflection: Learn to listen, not to fix, or give advice, or make sure someone knows absolutely what’s on your mind too. Learn to hear what someone is saying, reflect back to them the ways in which you understand, and be with them without judgment or preconceived direction. We’ve almost forgotten how to allow space for someone else and to show up to relationships with kindness. A language of listening can be learned, just as much as social media algorithms or cultural trends. Start with being aware of how you can listen better today. Then keep going, actively building positive relationships of trust and support.
