How to Feel Good Without Perfect: Simple Steps to a Kinder Holiday Season
With the holiday season approaching, many of us feel the pressure to make everything “just right.” Between the gatherings, gift-giving, and endless “to-do” lists, this time of year can bring both joy and stress. If the quest for perfection leaves you feeling more overwhelmed than content, it may be time to try a new approach.
Instead of aiming for a picture-perfect holiday, consider setting your sights on something kinder: simply feeling “well enough”. This shift is not about lowering standards; it’s about embracing what matters and letting go of what doesn’t.
Here, we’ll explore three simple ways to create a season that feels right for you, plus some journal prompts and gentle actions to help you connect to your own well-being.
1. Release the Holiday “Shoulds”
The holiday season is full of “shoulds”: we should send out perfectly coordinated holiday cards, bake all the desserts from scratch, and make sure every gift is wrapped with care. But who set these standards? Often, they’re a mix of societal expectations, family traditions, and our own internal pressures. Research suggests that releasing perfectionist tendencies, especially around the holidays, can reduce stress and lead to greater happiness
Try This:
- Journal Prompt: “What holiday traditions actually bring me joy? What expectations do I feel pressure to uphold, and why?”
- Gentle Action: Pick one “should” you feel attached to (like baking cookies from scratch or hosting a large gathering) and ask yourself if it truly brings you joy. If not, consider letting it go or simplifying it to suit your current needs.
When we question the holiday “shoulds” and focus on what feels genuine, we create space for a season that aligns with our real desires rather than external pressures. Remember, there’s no one right way to celebrate – only what feels right for you.
2. Permission to Pause
With all the activity and planning that comes with the holidays, it’s easy to lose sight of our own needs. But taking a small moment to pause can make all the difference. Research shows that small breaks throughout the day can significantly improve mood, focus, and overall well-being. Even a 5-minute pause can help reduce stress and reconnect you with yourself..
Try This:
- Journal Prompt: “How can I create moments of calm for myself this season? What would a short, meaningful pause look like for me?”
- Gentle Action: Practice a “holiday pause” by setting aside five minutes in your day to just breathe, enjoy a hot drink, or step outside. If a pause feels difficult to fit in, try integrating it into an existing activity, like focusing on your breath while waiting in line or slowing down during your evening routine.
These small pauses are powerful because they give us a chance to reconnect with ourselves amid the holiday bustle. Let this time be about you, free from any “shoulds” or “to-dos.”
3. Prioritise Feeling Over Doing
It’s tempting to overfill our calendars during the holidays, saying “yes” to every invitation, event, and tradition. But when we focus solely on “doing,” we can lose sight of how we actually want to feel. Do you want to feel relaxed, connected, or joyful this season? Let those feelings guide your choices.
Focusing on activities that support our desired emotions (rather than obligations) leads to greater life satisfaction. When we let our feelings, rather than activities, shape our holiday experience, we find a balance that aligns with our true well-being.
Try This:
- Journal Prompt: “How do I want to feel during the holiday season? What small choices or actions can support these feelings?”
- Gentle Action: Set an intention based on how you want to feel. For example, if you want to feel connected, consider inviting a friend for a casual coffee date. If relaxation is your priority, block off an afternoon to enjoy a quiet activity you love, like reading or crafting.
By prioritising feeling over doing, we can create a holiday season that resonates with who we truly are. This approach allows us to say “yes” to what matters and “no” to what doesn’t – without guilt.
Three Journal Prompts for a Kinder Holiday Season
Here are three journal prompts designed to help you dig deeper into what a “well enough” holiday could look like for you:
1. “What does a well holiday feel like to me?”
- Imagine your ideal holiday season. What stands out? What are you doing (or not doing) that makes it feel well? This prompt can help you identify specific actions or moments to bring into your season.
2. “What holiday expectations am I holding onto that I could release?”
- Often, we cling to traditions or expectations out of habit. Use this prompt to identify which of these serve you and which ones you might let go.
3. “What small moments can I add to my holiday routine to feel more balanced?”
- Small, daily rituals (like morning tea, evening journaling, or mindful walks) can help you stay grounded. Reflect on what these moments might look like for you.
Gentle Actions to Try
If you’re ready to make this season feel more balanced, here are three simple actions you can try:
1. Create a “Yes-No-Maybe” List:
Make a list of holiday activities and label them as “yes,” “no,” or “maybe.” Keep only the “yes” activities on your calendar and see if the “maybe” ones can become “no” if they feel too much.
2. Practice the “10-Minute Reset”:
Give yourself ten minutes each day to pause, reflect, and reset. This could be a quick walk, journaling, or simply sitting quietly. It’s a way to ground yourself in the midst of the holiday pace.
3. Set a “Feeling Intention” for Each Week:
Choose one feeling to focus on each week of the season, such as “peace,” “gratitude,” or “connection.” Make small choices that nurture this feeling in your life.
A Holiday Season That Feels Right for You
The holidays are a time for joy and connection, but they’re also an invitation to care for ourselves. By letting go of the “shoulds,” giving ourselves permission to pause, and focusing on how we want to feel, we can experience a season that’s kinder, calmer, and truly well.
If you’re ready for more ways to enjoy a well holiday season, sign up for our free Well-ish Guide to Feeling Better this Holiday Season. It’s packed with small, simple tips that help you focus on what really matters.
