“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding views which others find inadmissible.”

— Noreena Hertz

Our February Edit of Podcasts for Connection covers everything from therapy with our friends to why we’re all so lonely. Some of our favourite podcasts — Invisibilia and Doing it Right — have recently talked about why connection is so important to our mental wellbeing and covered strategies for how to be in relationship with others in ways that feel good to us. We also recommend checking out the new series, This is Dating, and Wild.

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Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso

Listen to this conversation with the inspiring activist and educator Brittany Packnett Cunningham. In a time of contested elections and differences ever pushing us apart, Parknett Cunningham brings a much-needed perspective on grace, contending with imperfect allies, and how to move into action (and caring for ourselves as we do).

Invisibilia: Therapy, with Friends

One of our favourite podcasts, takes a deep dive into Friendship, covering everything from going to therapy with a friend (Esther Perel makes a reassuring appearance) to ghosting stories that might haunt us as much as they hurt us. We pay so much attention to our romantic relationships, but this series attests to why and how we need to pay attention to our friendship ones (however we define that).

This is Dating

We binge-listened to this the way we binge-watch Netflix. Over the series, four people are set up on a series of recorded first dates. But it’s not just about eavesdropping on blind dates but layering in some therapy too. Daters meet with Logan Ury, a relationship and behavioural scientist before and after, with feedback such as attachment theory and what they really think about commitment, while hosts Jesse Baker and Hiwote Getaneh listen to the date and intervene with prompts and questions during it. From the producers of Where Should We Begin?, this series reveals what we’re really looking for (even if we think we’re not) and how we can find meaningful connections.

This is Love: The Brain in Love

How many ways do I love thee? Co-created by the people behind Criminal, Lauren Spohrer and Phoebe Judge (who also co-hosts) this podcast takes a broad view of love, how it intersects with our lives and those with others. In this episode, we follow Dessa, trying to get over a heartbreak through experimenting with the latest in brain science. If you could change the chemistry of your mind to help your broken heart, would you?

Life Out Loud: with Chasten Buttigieg, Ariana DeBose and Sarah Kate Ellis

Host journalist LZ Granderson talks to guests about LGBTQIA presence in small-town America and how this is shifting. We were struck by his conversation with the New York Times bestselling author, teacher, and activist Chasten Buttigieg who talks about what it means to return to Traverse City, Michigan, with his husband Pete Buttigieg (current US Secretary of State for Transport) and their twin babies. Together they cover how small towns can be part of progress and our misconceptions about living away from Big Cities or the coasts. Listen for an idea of what community can look like when it’s truly inclusive and how we can connect with one another beyond the vitriol of politics.

Doing It Right with Pandora Sykes | The Lonely Century with Noreena Hertz

A fascinating discussion between Pandora Sykes and Noreena Hertz , author of The Lonely Century, about a topic that many of us are wondering about, how to navigate our own loneliness. In this episode, they cover how our increased individualism means we’re doing less for each other than in the past. How cities where people walk faster and live more densely make us more disconnected from each other. The difference between alone and loneliness, and the physical impacts of loneliness (it’s equivalent to smoking). And dear to our heart, what could our cathedrals - the places that bring us together - look like now?

Wild | Episode 7: How Do I Love Someone?

A rom-com in a podcast episode that goes in an unexpected direction, listen to host Erick Galindo (an award-winning New York Times writer) talk to Megan Tan (Adweek’s producer of the year ) on trying to find love during the lockdown. Sweet, tender, and painful. Part of a series that covers coming-of-age stories in a pandemic, Wild is all about how we got to the other side and what we learned on the way.

“Everything escalates. In minutes and all of a sudden, we’re in an exclusive relationship. We are each other’s person. He’s the only person who does the dishes after I make us dinner. Who dances with me to Daniel Caesar in the kitchen. Who moves me to the inside of the sidewalk away from the street. I fucking love that. He’s the man who watches “Love is Blind” on Netflix so we can talk about it later.

Who workshops my days when they’re bad. And showers me with appreciation when they’re not. I fall asleep in his arms. And I wake up in them too. Because we’re in a bubble within a bubble, three weeks between us feels like three months.” — Megan Tan

The Hidden Brain, The Lonely American Man

Hosted by Shankar Vedantam, this is a fascinating episode on loneliness as it can show up in the lives of men, and one man in particular who found himself in his mid-forties struggling for friendship and connection. It asks what are the warning signs of a shrinking social life and the etiquette around social rules? How do men make friends? And how would you answer the question: “Who would you call in the middle of the night if you were sick or afraid?” Social isolation is increasing amongst men. And it is middle-aged men that are at growing risk of suicide – since 1999 it has increased by 50% increase. That’s astounding. This episode covers some of the reasons for that shift: reduced social supports, the impacts of divorce and far-flung families, social interaction that is mostly on social media and often not face-face, and the erosion of civic outlets (like staying in with Netflix rather than going to the cinema). Though we realise the importance of reaching out we also need to face the realities of the difficulties of doing so – sometimes we just don’t know how to do it.

“These are human beings with unbelievable emotional and social capacity. And we as a culture just completely try to zip it out of them.”

— Niobe Way, New York University psychology professor

All of our February selections can be found in our Spotify playlist for Connection. Listen here:

Let us know what you’ve been listening to this month to help you deal with feeling lonely, finding community, figuring out your close relationships, or just finding connection in ways that feel good to you.

And seek out more resources for more connection and community in our guide.

“Part of it is a kind of a bias that commitment, love and intimacy belong in the realm of family and belong in the romantic sphere, that they don’t necessarily apply to friendships. ”

— Ester Perel