3 Things to Say “No” to This Holiday Season (Without the Guilt): A Q&A Guide
The holidays can be a joyful time, but they can also bring pressure – from packed schedules to high expectations. It’s easy to get caught up in saying “yes” to everything, only to end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. But what if you could set a few gentle boundaries and say “no” to what doesn’t serve you, without the guilt?
In this Q&A guide, we’ll explore three common holiday challenges and share ways to gracefully say “no” to them so you can focus on what truly matters.
Q: How Do I Say “No” to Overcommitting My Schedule?
A: It can feel difficult to decline invitations and gatherings, especially when you want to be there for everyone. However, overcommitting leaves little time for rest and self-care, and often leads to burnout. Setting healthy boundaries is essential for reducing stress and staying emotionally balanced during high-demand seasons.
Try This:
1. Set an Event Limit: Decide in advance how many events you can realistically attend each week. Communicate this boundary with friends and family early on.
2. Use “Thank and Decline”: Practice saying, “Thank you so much for inviting me! I won’t be able to make it this time, but I’d love to connect soon.” Expressing gratitude makes it easier to say no without guilt.
Bonus Journal Prompt: “How does my schedule reflect my holiday priorities? What can I let go of to feel more present?”
Q: How Can I Let Go of the “Perfect” Holiday Decor?
A: Holiday decor can be a fun way to celebrate the season, but aiming for a Pinterest-perfect setup often adds unnecessary stress. Instead, think about what makes your space feel festive to you, and let go of the pressure to make everything look flawless. Perfectionism is often a barrier to joy, especially during high-stakes times like the holidays
Try This:
1. Choose a Signature Element: Pick one decor element you love (like twinkle lights or a favourite ornament), and let that set the tone. Focus on what you truly enjoy rather than a “perfect” overall look.
2. Embrace Minimalism: Simplifying your decor can actually enhance its impact. Select a few meaningful pieces, and allow yourself to skip or scale back on the rest.
Bonus Journal Prompt: “What does a meaningful holiday atmosphere look like to me? Which traditions can I simplify?”
Q: How Do I Say “No” to Self-Criticism This Season?
A: Self-criticism can sneak in during the holidays, especially when you’re trying to keep up with expectations or feeling the effects of comparison. Research on self-compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff suggests that treating yourself with kindness and understanding can significantly improve mental and emotional well-being
Try This:
1. The “Friend Check”: When you catch yourself in a cycle of self-criticism, pause and ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” Often, we’re kinder to others than to ourselves. Shifting this perspective can help soften critical thoughts.
2. Create a “Self-Care Mantra”: Choose a comforting phrase, like “I’m doing my best” or “It’s okay to be well-ish.” Use this mantra whenever self-criticism starts creeping in.
Bonus Journal Prompt: “What am I grateful for in myself this season? How can I nurture a sense of compassion?”
Gentle Actions for a Boundaries-Based Holiday Season
Here are three simple actions you can try to help reinforce these boundaries and make this season feel calmer and more aligned with your well-being:
1. Create a “Holiday Well-being List”: Instead of a to-do list, make a list of small things that bring you joy or calm. Keep it somewhere visible as a reminder to prioritise these throughout the season.
2. Set a “Self-Compassion Break” Reminder: Use your phone or calendar to set daily reminders to take a self-compassion break. Even a few minutes each day can make a difference.
3. Visualise Your Ideal Holiday: Before diving into holiday preparations, take a moment to imagine your ideal holiday season. Picture it in detail: What are you doing (or not doing)? Who are you spending time with? Use this vision as a guide when making decisions.
Embrace a Holiday that Feels Right for You
This holiday season, saying “no” doesn’t have to be difficult or guilt-inducing. By setting gentle boundaries and focusing on what truly matters, you can create a season that’s joyful, calm, and fulfilling. Let go of the need to be everywhere, decorate perfectly, or criticise yourself for small missteps. Instead, celebrate the moments that bring you peace and presence.
If you’re ready for more ways to simplify the season and focus on what matters most, sign up for our Well-ish Guide to Feeling Better this Holiday Season! Discover gentle, meaningful tips for a holiday that feels just right.
