Embracing Messy Emotions: 5 Steps to Feel, Not Fix
We all experience messy emotions—those uncomfortable feelings like anxiety, anger, or sadness. But what if instead of trying to fix them, you allowed yourself to feel them? Today, we’re exploring how embracing your emotions can help reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and nurture your overall wellbeing.
What Are Messy Emotions, and Why Do They Matter?
Emotions that you might interpret as messy—like fear, frustration, and grief—aren’t “negative.” They’re essential signals that help us understand our needs and values.
Examples of messy emotions and their messages:
Anxiety: Highlights uncertainty or a fear of failure.
Anger: Signals that a boundary has been crossed.
Sadness: Indicates a sense of loss or unmet needs.
By leaning into these emotions, rather than suppressing them, you can gain valuable insights into your inner world and how you can better relate to the outer one too.
Why do we try to fix our emotions then?
Modern life promotes quick fixes: “stay positive,” “think happy thoughts,” or “power through.” While this mindset feels productive, it can lead to stress, burnout, and a disconnection from yourself.
5 Steps to Embrace Messy Emotions
1. Identify What You’re Feeling
Start by naming the emotion you’re experiencing. Research shows that simply labelling an emotion can reduce its intensity and help you process it.
2. Get Curious About Your Emotions
Ask yourself: Why is this emotion showing up? What need or boundary is being highlighted? This step fosters emotional clarity and self-awareness.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel It Fully
Instead of suppressing emotions, practice sitting with them. Notice how they feel in your body—like a tight chest or a knot in your stomach—and breathe through the sensation.
4. Reflect on the Lessons
Once you’ve sat with your emotions, consider what actions they might inspire. Do you need to set a boundary, communicate your feelings, or make a change in your environment?
5. Let Go Without Judgment
Embrace the idea that emotions are temporary. Once you’ve processed them, let them pass naturally instead of clinging to guilt or self-criticism.
Journal Prompt: Connecting with Your Messy Emotions
Take 10 minutes to reflect on a recent emotional experience:
What were you feeling?
What might that emotion have been trying to tell you?
How can you respond with self-compassion?
Why Feeling, Not Fixing, is Key to Self-Connection
Messy emotions aren’t problems to solve; they’re guides to understanding yourself. When you embrace your feelings, you reduce emotional overwhelm, boost your confidence, and create deeper connections with others.
Emotions coaching can help you explore your emotional patterns, process feelings constructively, and build resilience. This process isn’t about suppressing what you feel but rather understanding which emotions are showing up and why.
Embracing messy emotions is a powerful way to improve your mental well-being, strengthen relationships, and live with greater clarity.
Instead of fixing your emotions, try leaning into them. You might discover that the feelings you once avoided are the key to living a more balanced, fulfilling life.
If you’re curious about how to better understand what you’re feeling (and why you’re feeling it), subscribe to our newsletter. You’ll get to explore all the feels.
