The Weight You’re Carrying Isn’t Just Yours
There’s a kind of tiredness that doesn’t go away with rest.
You can sleep, hydrate, do your yoga, take your magnesium, go for a walk.
And still, it lingers — that low, heavy weight that sits behind your eyes or beneath your ribs. The kind that doesn’t show up in test results, but feels like it’s etched into your bones.
It’s not just physical. It’s not just emotional.
It’s a kind of invisible load — one that builds quietly over time.
And so many of us are carrying it.
Especially in midlife, especially as women, especially in lives that look “fine” on the outside.
We carry the decisions. The dynamics. The moods. The mental load. The silent remembering. The keeping-track-of-everything-and-everyone.
We carry the birthdays and the groceries and the dentist appointments.
We carry the emotional climate of our homes.
We carry what’s going on with the kids, what might be going on with our partners, what we’re starting to see happening with our parents.
We carry our friends, when they’re falling apart. We carry their fears, gently, quietly, alongside our own.
We hold it all. And then we wonder why we’re tired.
For a long time, I didn’t realise I was carrying anything extra.
I thought I was just tired because I wasn’t getting enough done.
I thought I needed to be more organised, more balanced, more productive.
I thought maybe I was weak. Even lazy. Possibly undisciplined.
But I wasn’t. I was just human. I was just heavy with things no one could see.
It wasn’t until I stopped — properly stopped — that I realised just how much I’d been holding. How much space it had taken up inside me. How much I’d quietly internalised as mine to carry.
The emotional labour. The mental noise. The weight of trying to be all the things to all the people, all of the time.
And the truth is: it wasn’t all mine.
It never was.
Some of it belonged to expectations I didn’t set.
Some to roles I inherited, but did not choose.
Some to a culture that praises women for being tireless, generous, and self-sacrificing — but never asks what it costs them to keep showing up that way.
And some of it, most painfully, was weight I carried simply because no one else thought to hold it for me.
If any of this feels familiar, I want you to know this:
You’re not imagining it.
The weight is real.
And you don’t have to keep carrying it all.
You are allowed to lay something down.
You are allowed to ask for help.
You are allowed to stop trying to be the steady one, the good one, the one who always has it together.
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to justify your tiredness.
You don’t need to explain why it feels so hard — even when your life looks okay.
Sometimes the most radical act of care is simply to say: This is too much for me.
And let that be reason enough.
There’s no perfect solution. No five-step fix.
But there is a beginning.
And it starts with naming what you’ve been holding — gently, kindly, without judgment.
Because once you can name it, you don’t have to carry it alone anymore.
Our Midlife Coaching Sessions
If this resonates, learn more about our coaching sessions for midlife and beyond. Explore everything from emotional labour to midlife burnout, and discover small ways to feel more connected again.
If you’re in midlife, these sessions will help you have a better relationship with this time. You’ll identify your needs and desires, bridge any gaps between where you are and where you want to be, and cultivate strategies for making it all that much better.
You’ll discover how to navigate midlife and beyond in ways that feel more intentional and even positive.
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